The Journey

Written By Sharon Dorival

Why Do I Write?

For me, writing is a way to express myself through literature. It is one of the things that gives me the ability to describe myself in the other dimension – characters that have been created by me depending on my vision despite I have been writing for over 30 years. I can see the effects and changes. My life has been enlightened and I am always seeking to improve my writing skills to share my ideas in more detail.

Writing feeds my spirit. It lets me express myself and share with others. It helps me discover myself. It is comforting and cathartic.

In the shadows, deep beneath the ever-increasing darkness…they were born, and I look back now, it’s almost like peering into my soul.

A diary full of poetry from some of the hardest and most challenging years of my life lay dormant waiting to be ignited. Before me, were the shadows of the past, each one like a solitary planet, created in such foreseen and frantic circumstances. Yet once the dust had settled and the water stilled, a tale of mystery and wonder emerged, and as I looked back, as I gaze deep into the emotions that once blanketed my entire being I now see the purpose they served. It was a wondrous release from a depression that was becoming too much to bear.

A depression that was engulfing me, breaking me, crushing me from the inside in.

In a way, I’d go as far as to say what you are about to read could  have quite possibly saved my life.

I guess you could say in a world of confusion, a world where I felt trapped, almost locked inside a black and seemingly empty hole, that these poems crafted my escape. They were my therapy, my companions, and my release.

So why share them now you may ask? They have been abandoned, stored at the bottom of a dusty bedroom closet-forgotten while the pages yellowed, crinkled, others were torn. They sent me invitations daily-little reminders at the back of my mind-“come back to us. We are your friends. Let’s play and create. You’ll see it’s worth it.” But I left them alone and I tucked my diary in with them-hid them for twenty years. In the midst of chaos and uncertainty during the 2020 Coronavirus Pandemic, They came to rescue once again. I listened to the cries of the downtrodden and the depressed. I felt this was the perfect time to share them with the disintegrating world.

I shared, offering a very little description of the topic of what they were about.

They were personal and I’d rather people harvest their own perceptions of them and bring them into their lives, their own heartbreaks, their own little planets. You might have noticed, I have not included images and it’s all due to perception. The words will give you your own images. Possibly of your own personal situation or you may adapt them to others that you know. Your conscience will direct you accordingly.

During Covid, I wanted to embrace vulnerability and publish part of my life story. It was the absolute hardest decision to make-to be so open with that part of myself. This blog is part of my book. This is part of the vulnerability experiment. I hope you enjoy it. I am looking forward to participating more fully in this community.  

During these days, I would wake up and my head would hurt, and then I would realize that in my dream I had said to myself that I should write some poetry. But my dreams never explained why or how. I would sing in those dark times. It is true I have been in love with poetry for a long time since I could remember. From nursery rhymes to poetry for adults.

What’s In It For You?

Between the covers of ‘The Journey,’ you will discover a trail of ‘Lost and Found,’ you will find bits of yourself. For anyone having traveled life’s long, winding road, where old love wanes, new love waxes while self-love explodes, this collection of poetry and prose is meant for you. I express my most relatable writing style, what it is to experience mature love. Life is my metamorphosis, where I recognize that nothing is static. Throughout my transformation, time enlightened me with higher aspirations for myself; facing squarely, the realities of my love relationships. An old love had become stagnant, a new, titillating love, was fraught with uncertainties, providing an evocative glimpse into my soul’s rendering. Life gently urged me to seek out the best love of all. There is an awakening beginning to bloom inside my soul, becoming stronger, which I can no longer control. You really don’t know me, but in time I will be just fine. I will honor these desires with all my might. You really don’t know me, and you know what? That’s alright. It turned out that the best love of all was myself. And the journey to self was the best trip I have taken. 

When Did I Start Writing?

My ‎Creative Writing Journey started at a tender age with frequent pauses as I attended school. When I came to Canada I saw so many beautiful places that I was inspired to start writing again and this time I took my writing very seriously. I wrote many poems and short stories just to gain a strong foundation (I had also been journaling for years). As I started to explore writing once more, more novel ideas kept bursting into my head. Novel ideas I knew I could dedicate time and thought to explore! 

 I pondered carefully. Could I just jump right in and start learning about writing novels, or should I wait until I have more experience with smaller works? 

I wanted to publish my emerging works in newspapers and later on Wattpad then graduating to Facebook. I received great insight and gained a following and engaging audience. I knew many had recommended against Wattpad but I really liked the app and wanted to try it since I was only starting out. 

 I welcomed any advice, tips, and recommendations.

I soon was referred to as one of the most prolific writers hailing from the Nature Isle of the Caribbean. I  was raised in the village of Colihaut, and my chosen pastime is writing. A hobby that spanned several decades and includes the publication of everything from poetry, essays, short stories to several autobiographies, including yet to be published Where Are You, Mom? The deeply personal (and highly sensitive) book — which chronicles Anne-Marie’s experiences of abuse, identity, and racism as a young girl growing up in Canada — A book that many people can relate to.   

Thirty-five years ago, after  meeting Mike on the Bike, I read my first story to my class Titled ‘At Home, I Am A Very Good Help.’ My teacher congratulated my courage and encouraged me to keep writing. That ignited the flame I needed to inch out of my shell. ‘Longger-Jo Takes On The Bully’ offers a holistic approach while exploring the development of imperfect but likable characteristics. A very pensive approach as I share personal experiences.

This book unveils a whole new world out there and reveals the readers’ inner strength. Many readers are surprised by the certain degree of risk in the writings and the mind-bending truth of bullying. All that is shared in this book, results in readers stepping outside their comfort zone.

The kids’ temperaments, mental health, peer pressure, and dynamics in the family are all factors in how it plays out in the story.

Why Blog This?

This is A Story of Transformation…

“I don’t care what they think” was my favorite line to say. Rebellious, prideful, and determined to control every situation and event in my life, I left my mother’s house at the age of eighteen to start a brand new life and possibly work so I could attend college…brokenhearted, angry, and full of rage.

You see, my childhood was one of abuse, domestic violence, and an inner rage that would one day lead to me running away from home. The children in the families we grew up with were suffering the same torment, so I thought this was normal. To witness beatings, violence, pain, and anguish was my norm. The silence was the pattern of behavior that was taught to me and my siblings. “Don’t let anybody know what was happening behind our four walls.” These walls closed in around my heart and life in the years to come.

After college, I started my career within days. “You are an adult now,” I told myself as I began years of drinking and partying with whomever and wherever I chose. I was retaliating all the way–I had friends in every city, and I didn’t care what people thought.

The next twenty-plus years improved as I went from being disengaged to marriage. I knew I could handle being committed, working, and studying. I was aspiring to something, but what was I looking for? Why was my heart so hard and cold? Why did I keep doing the same things?

Finally, the deep pain, despair, and heartache along with a probable addiction to alcohol led to thoughts of running away again; was this the answer I was seeking?

If you have ever asked yourself these questions, or if this story and struggle sound vaguely familiar, then you will have to read the full book to understand the answers I found in Jesus Christ.

May this story be used to bring all glory to God and freedom for all who dare to read, and be transformed!

Canada’s horizons took me on  Journeys within a Journey. My life was like a universe of various themes, dimensions, and flows. It was unique, imaginative, and thought-provoking. Through much reflection, my pilgrimage through life and that of others drew on my observations of life, people, and places and on my own life experiences.

Poetry gave rich meaning to the common, everyday experience, drawing out the extraordinary from the ordinary. It was compelling, refreshing, and personal yet at the same time, universal. The hardships, sorrows, and struggles of life contrast with light, triumph, beauty, joy, love, and celebrations of life.

In short, Canada offered a worthwhile, meaningful, and enjoyable refuge.

Copyright © 2020 Sharon Dorival